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Dear blog,

It's been really long since I last blogged proper. So I thought I should have a major update on whatever happened over the past few months.

As always, school was hectic; but this time round the intensity was triple of previous sems. It was so horrible because I was constantly studying (not that I did, but I was supposed to) for my tests which are scheduled all the way up to finals since the end of CNY.

This sem is one that is transcending. Like how things are very different when you move on from secondary school to JC. Along with the amount of distractions & dramas in the past 3 months, I am well aware that my grades are going to slide this time.

Like I've mentioned, the first half of my 2014 was like the most dramatic ever. I met the most epic stranger, had the most epic valentine's day/birthday, turned adult & made plenty grave mistakes all in 3 months.

However, despite all that went wrong, I kind of see the beauty in it. Things happened & I am just glad that I've learnt my lessons & saw the true colours of some. & for screwing up the order in my life, I realised that I am blessed to have some precious people in my life. A, the most non-judgemental friend who offer me the best and most altruistic advice. B, the most helpful & generous classmate who volunteers to record lectures for me whenever I slept through 8am lectures due to dramas that happened the night before. C, who always magically appear & brighten up my day as if he knows that someone had ruined it for me. & there are people like D & E who've disappointed me a fair bit for the things that they've said/done. I do not understand the mismatch between their words and their actions but well, it's all in the past, & I should let it go.

The reason why life wasn't in order for the past 3 months was because I met the wrong person. Someone who treats me in the best & the worst way possible. & for being irresolute, I have conformed to many unreasonable demands & allowed myself be stuck in a sticky situation that I knew I should get out of asap.

Why is that so? Because for the first time in my life someone made me sense that he doesn't mind my imperfections. He didn't hesitate to hug me tight despite all the sweat & rain I've accumulated after climbing a hill on a stormy afternoon. He accepted my disgusting character & told me how to be a better person. He lets me make all the decisions. & because I can really throw my brain away when I'm with him because he will have everything planned out for me already.

But there is always a "but". & this "but" is something that is unreasonable & irreconcilable. & I will reserve this "but" to myself. 

After all that have happened, I learnt that I should treasure myself more & not feel indebted because of the sweet acts one has offered. 100 sweet acts simply can't offset that one great problem brought forth by the very same person.

Saying & experiencing all these made me realised how difficult & lucky it is to find your true love. It's okay if he is not in your life yet. & here's a note to self to not settle for anyone except the one.